Reaching for the pen
When you find yourself somewhere between having an episode and wanting one to take over your body.
I just can't deal with this I am unable to process these feelings, these emotions.
I welcome the moments when it takes over my body. I welcome the loss of control. This is the only feeling I can accept.
My mind is somewhere between racing and being absent.
I want to let people know Im ok, but I can't bring myself to lie, heck I cant even pick up the phone. My ability to communicate has gone.
I am grateful I have reached for a pen, its stopped me clenching my fist and punching myself.
I am still twitching but much less now.
Im not sure if it will come back, but I can at least move now.
- These were my thoughts during a episode -