• Mike Douglas

Porn, The Ups and Downs


If you didn't have a little chuckle at the title you are seriously lacking some houmor, or your too mature for me.

I have a real like / dislike relationship with porn. It definitely has ups and downs. I have seen quite an array of porn, but I think I probably sit in the mainstream most of the time. But I guess even saying that could be misleading. What is mainstream porn?

Gosh, I remember being a horny teenager when puberty hits almost anything is sexy. While I don't remember ever having a Teacher I fantasied over, there was the occasional model in the Argos catalogue! Yes, I think I've got the tone right so far, haha. I remember wishing one of my friends could have an attractive mum and that she could take advantage of me. Well, sorry school friends, but none of your mums were quite that for me (though they are probably quite happy about that haha).

While we are thinking back, can we just acknowledge how long it used to take to for a porn site to load on the family computer? Like seriously, Im trying to be sneaky here! Thats not even mentioning the horror of trying to record semi sexual programmes and late night Euro Trash on a top loader VCR. I think I should have qualified for MI5 or something. Then you have to hide the tape or remember which one it is amongst all the other tapes. The bad dreams I had about an 'adult' finding the tape.

As a grown up it is a little different, but there is still that fear of being caught or the stigma of admitting to something so many people do. So if there was any doubt, let me clear it up for you I have and do, masturbate. Its great and theres almost definitely another post in that story. But today we are talking about porn.

Porn I believe is a great way to discover new and different sexual desires, as well as being a fun masturbatory aide.

What are you drawn to; is it the actors look, the attire, the location, the scenario, a body part, a particular sexual act, or the actors interaction?

You can also work out what you don't like. This opportunity to safely discover is one I think is often over looked. Yes its always going to be slightly different when your with someone, so you can't be 100% sure. But I know a few, myself included who have not always felt comfortable talking about what they like or dislike, let alone trying to experiment with a partner. Porn can be a good testing ground. For example, watching torture room scenes, love it if the guy (in my head me) is tided up, if its the girl, not so much. That being said, I have enjoyed some light bondage sessions where my partner is the one restrained. So porn doesn't have all the answers.

In fact there are a few problems with porn, surprise surprise. I have issue with two in particular.

Number one, the amount of times girls / women say no, then end up saying yes.

As someone that works with young people, I can see how they could misunderstand consent and how two people (or if your lucky more) enter into a consensual sexual activity. Too often (usually the female in my opinion) will start to enjoy sex after stating they did not want it.

Number two, condoms. Seriously less than 5% of the porn I have seen involved condoms. I get it, I do. But again as someone working with young people, I can understand why they may think it 'normal' to not use a condom. I must confess I have have unprotected sex, and thats not great (well it was great, but Im not meant to say that haha). There are so many important reasons to wear a condom; preventing pregnancy, preventing sexual transmitted desires and or infections. Most of the time you don't know who your partner / sex buddy has been with, let alone who those people have been with.

There will also be a condom post coming soon, Im just waiting for my freebees to come...in the post.

I think for me porn has been a tool (loving the puns). I struggle with relationship because of my BPD and depression and so getting the relief or enjoyment from sex is not always an option. Additionally there is so much joy in masturbation it really is silly to not be experiencing it. If you are in a relationship I would say still do it, but include each other. It is so hot watching someone masturbate while looking at you. If you've never done it, do it!

Porn defiantly is a genre I enjoy and one I would recommend, to both couples and singles. It may even inspire a little massage swapping at home or dogging, who knows.

#porn #sex #selfdiscovery #bondage #fantasy #relationships

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