The Start Of Moving To Fareham
Woosh, life has been busy recently. Weekends are full, evenings are full, I have had weeks where I only see Laura for a few hours, and its much the same for the next week.
I have realised how much I miss Laura this week in particular, as we both have had things on our minds and haven't really had a chance to talk about them till the last couple days. Not to mention the excitement of recently (ash) deciding we want to move in together.
Over the last 5 weeks or so we have started looking at houses online and checking out our mortgage capabilities. The things we thought were important to us as we looked through houses online, have changed slightly as we started to visit houses for viewings. But I think we have a fairly good idea of what we are looking for and hopefully we will find it as we gear up for our run of April viewing.
Moving in together is a big step and one I am sure we will both have our our struggles with. Though obviously theres lots of positives (the main one for me being access to Laura hugs). My own mental struggles with relationships and depression mean I need to remain vigilante when experiencing these symptoms. I know the spiral I can find myself in and how susceptible I can be to it.
So for me its about putting some of my wellbeing skills and tools into place.
While theres been a (very) slow start, making sure I keep the running challenge up (500k in 2019), regular lunchtime walks, getting out to take photos, minimum monthly baths, and honest open conversations with Laura; are all things I need to keep up alongside my tools.
Those being actually doing some mindfulness on a weekly basis, writing, learning to be in silence and a new tool I want to put in place, forest bathing and tree hugging. Yup, I am now an aspiring tree hugger (like I actually want to hug trees). I remember sitting next to and leaning against a tree when I was in junior school, that tree was awesome. I did all my best thinking there. So now, I'm on the look out for a new tree spot.
I have many doubts about my ability and worthiness of being with Laura and as our relationship reaches new points, each time I believe it will be difficult. But I also know I am so lucky to be with someone who understands the struggles of my fractured mind. She is proper amazing.
One of the things I have found difficult, but also enjoyed is picturing us making a home together. I think I have spent much of the last few years... maybe much longer when I think about it, living in a house rather than a home. Theres properly a deep and not very hidden message there.
I guess this is the start of something new and it's being open to everything that can come with that.
Theres a few things coming up or still ongoing, so I am not quite ready to talk about them just yet. So this post is a shorter one. But its about getting back in the habit of writing and expressing my thoughts. Flip, I didn't even have photos prepared, so I have used the free six ones, face palm!
I hope you are all well and have some positive experiences over the easter break.